As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
