Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
