She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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