meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
