i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
