i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
