glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
