I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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