No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
