So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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