I hate your face
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
