And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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