idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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