If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
