Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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