dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize