i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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