Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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