I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
