im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
