I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
