Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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