you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
