Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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