i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
