fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
