glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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