I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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