currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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