Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
