Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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