We named our party play list daddy issues
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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