I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
