So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Found the puke drawer
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
