Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
