I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
