i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize