Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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