I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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