good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
