So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
