so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
