Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
