dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
this is an emotional support booty call
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
