How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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