you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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