Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
