the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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