I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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