either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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