Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
