party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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