Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
