don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
