Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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