I am puke
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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