This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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