yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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