Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
