Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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