hotel room ftw
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
