Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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