He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
