girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
