you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
